Sexy paragraphs

This is my writing on my sexy paragraphs and we had to write it about cheese for the fair go ad awards

Yellow hat: I think I have written the example really well is my story because I have done a real life example and it backs up my story really well this is important because you need to know how to back up your answer.

Black hat:I could of planned my story better why is this important because you need to come up with a list of ideas to make your story easier to write your story.

This is my peice of writing of why boys are better then girls.

YELLOW HAT:I think I have done well with the example part of my writing. This is important because you need to know why you are writing and need to make your writing longer

BLACK HAT: I think I need to edit my story more. This is important because if I was to publish this piece of writing the reader wont be able to read the story

Mark Ward-FIL

When Mark Ward from FIL came to tell us about the head office. This is what I learnt

1.They have two 30,000 litre rain water tanks .

2.the have a garden in the middle of the building witch is water bye the moister of the heat pumps

3. There is aluminium luber that are made to bring in more sun.

4.There is a spill plant under the building that catches the spilt chemicals so they don’t be let into the rivers and other water ways.

5.They recycled old car oil to heat the building

6.For a chemical company they use very little water, about the size of the average farm house amount.

Formal and Informal 

 This is my formal and informal writing. we had to write a informal and formal paragraph.

yellow hat- The thing I done best was make sure everything made sense. This is important so that when someone reads your story they can understand what they are reading.

Black hat- I can improve next time is to try make it more descriptive.Making it more descriptive is important so that you hook the person reading into my story .

Snow!!!

This piece of writing describes when it snowed at my house.

• yellow- I have written good five senses in my story. Why is this important? Because you have to make the reader want to read on in the story.

Black- I can improve  this story by improving my hand writing and my spelling. Why is this important?  because you need to understand how to edit your story and so you can understand what the story says

I am decribing about the pain when we were hanging of the bars in the playground. We had to make a dicribing story that tell you how much pain you are in!

Black hat: I think I could of have edited it about more to make the story better.

Yellow hat: I think I made it clear on what I was writing about and the pain of it all!

This week we had to hang on to a bar in the playground. To see what it would feel like. We had to write what we could feel and hear!

Planing

I picked my  contract because I got from question one to question 8 in a half an hour.

Next time I could try to do 10 question in a half an hour

I think I have done good because I am now half way through my reading contract

This week I picked swimming sports. I picked this because I go the Champion Senior Trophy!

I think I have done well because I got the trophy and me and the other girl Nikita we very close.

I will not be-able to improve because I will no be here next year to get the trophy.

This week I picked my art work that we done with an art teacher that comes to Matapu school every term.

I think  I done a good face!

I think I could put abit more backround in to it.